you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm like, not good at living.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
