Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
