I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize