She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize