So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Can you bring me the toilet please
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Panties = found
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
