We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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