Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
