Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Randomize
