If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
