I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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