even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
