and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
My pussy is not your playground.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Randomize