Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
