I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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