four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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