This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
