Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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