Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
this just has baby written all over it
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
