I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My vagina is officially offended.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
