During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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