I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize