Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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