can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
