the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
