Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
