Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
