Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
