I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize