I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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