I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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