he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
