Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Randomize
