Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Randomize
