i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
