dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
