Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
