I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
