so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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