I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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