so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
