Duck Duck Cougar?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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