Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
