Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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