Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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