I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
