marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
