I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize