Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
