That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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