Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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