dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
