All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
i think i just lost a toe
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
