So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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