I wish I could punch you in the face.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
