I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
