just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
