Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My ass is underappreciated
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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