this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
