I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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