whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
so much tequila, so little girl.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
