You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
