they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
