Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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