THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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