Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize