what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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