For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
