so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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