well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
