LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
