You can't special order awesome
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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