She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
i now understand why vodka
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize