Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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