I hate all girls vehemently.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
